Prologue

This category is a bit racy.  Just because we have to use nasty words.  I apologize up front, but as you’ll see it is really necessary.  I hope you enjoy.  Hold on tight folks, this is gonna be good.

My Junior year at Valpo was definitely the best.  Most of my friends, including my future wife were all still there.  You see they were all seniors, meaning my last year was going to be hell.  Anyway, one day, I don’t even remember why we were so bored, was it summer?  nay, I don’t recall.  Ne’ertheless, my roomate Jim and I were SO bored (not going where you’re thinking) and we started talking about things we hated.  People that annoyed us.  What could only be described as a list of “Fucks”.  Some names will be left out to protect the guilty. 

After assembling the master list, we decided it was of utmost importance to rank the Fucks.  (We got even more boreder.)  So, we polled a few important people who ‘get’ the whole sense of humour behind the thing.  They then gave scores based on each person’s overall fuckitude, which was then averaged and put into a big organized list by the human excel spreadsheet that is my college roommate.  Well, friends, it has come a time.  The world is ready.  We must now, as it is our true duty, unveil this list at last.  We must share these fucks with the world, not because we want to, but because there is a sense of duty! We’re talking global magnitude people!  This is out of my control.  Like a horny puppy leaping for any leg it can get it’s nads on, these must be shared with the world.  I hereby present to you, ‘THE LIST.’ 

Surgeon General Warning-Exposure may cause damage to your spleen. 

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Published in: on 15 March 2006 at 4*16 pm  Comments (1)  

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  1. I’ve been working on computerizing this list for easy dissemination, sorting etc. this morning, and I’ve been way way too into it. I’m also including my personal notes for your/the world’s enjoyment/clarification. Now when you’re making nasty remarks about somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 people/places/things, you can start to feel a little bad. You know, maybe it’s a little too…mean spirited or something. Then I realize: “Damn, Dan Cortese really is a huge fucking fuck”, and I feel better. So, coming soon to a weblog or email account near you…The LIST.


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