This weekend was super busy and now I'm back at work, and it honestly feels a little better to be not thinking about where I have to drive to next.  I seriously believe that we single-handedly drove up gas demand this weekend with our constant cavorting.  I personally apologize to all of you and it is clearly my fault that gas is $3.09.  Blame me.  Unless you drive an SUV in which case, why the HELL are you complaining?  

My cousin (my wife's cousin, but I only have 6 and she only has 3, so we share) was just confirmed which was exciting and yeah it was in Peoria, so it was a lot of driving, but all-in-all, it was relatively good.  That was yesterday, but prior to that, on Friday night, we had a wedding in Michigan.  It was a great friend of mine from high school, marking essentially, my first friend to be married.  I am no longer the lone ranger.  Blah blah blah, this is boring.  Here's the real part—

We had a 3d ultrasound of the kid because we wanted to make sure it was a boy, like we thought, and we'd heard about these things and it sounded really cool.  So we did, and the pictures are awesome.  They're so realistic–you can TOTALLY see his facial features and everything.  It was VERY cool.  We've showed pictures to family and friends, to which reactions have been everywhere from instant tears to raucous joyous laughter.  As we were leaving, the pictures were getting shown to my friend and some of her people.  It was so nice for everyone to see the pictures, and everyone was happy, and it was good.  Some dude asked me to see the pictures again, started laughing, which I thought was like that "wow, that's cool" laughter, and then showed his pictures to some other dude and they both started laughing like "what a funny-looking thing" laughter.  My wife and I flipped out.  Well, inside.  We weren't totally sure what was going on until we could speak to each other, but we were pissed.  Here's what I've decided:

Of course there are some serious assholes in this world.  Anyone who's ever driven a car or gone to an amusement park knows this full well.  But there are some people that really take the cake.  They really take the damn cake.  What the HELL is wrong with you that you decide laughing and making fun of a PICTURE OF A CHILD IN FRONT OF THE EFFING CHILD'S PARENTS!! is anything but pure asshole?  (May I also point out that this asshole was easily 5-10 years older than us and at least single-ish if not straight up alone) Buddy, it may be possible that you have not exactly done anything worth being proud of in your life, but don't rain on my parade, alright?  When you and the person you love make something that has already BECOME your entire life and he's not even breathing frieking air yet, let me know just how much you'd love me to come over and make fun of it.  Asshole.

Arrgh.  Really, I should be okay with this.  Some people just don't get it and are immature.  Usually I can just blow that off.  But don't mess with my offspring.  SERIOUSly.  Look at his picture and smile and yeah, you can even joke that his nose is kind of big (all babies have big noses because they're smushed, but whatever….) but for the love of all that is Holy, please don't be an asshole.  Listen to what the hell you're saying and think about what you're going to do before you do it.  If you don't, you're bound to piss me off and the last person that pissed me off is in jail.  (not really, I just honked at them and gave them the 'fist of fury', and they may not have even noticed, but I like to think that I've got some unrelenquished chutzpah in here somewhere.)

Published in: on 8 May 2006 at 7*32 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. People are HUUUUUUUUGE assholes. Your story is spectacular. The only thing I have to compare is all of the people (6 or 7 at last count) who, when they ask what the baby is and I say, “a girl,” then say, “Oh, well you can try again next time for a boy so your husband will be happy.”

    And then my head explodes.

  2. Fuck. Errrzzzz.

    Also, you let me know who they are. I’ve got some pent up rage/stress/whatnot that could use some unleashing.

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