The Adventures of Gully Washer and Big Blow


As I’m looking out the window of detention right now, 9h18:36am C.S.T., I feel desperation, anguish, and forlornness.  (I looked it up, it’s real.)  THIS is what I see……..

Okay, so maybe that’s not exactly what I see, but you bet your sweet aspercreme it’s close, dammit. 

Just exactly what I was hoping for, knowing that my students have (outdoor) band practice in which we are also inviting 80-odd 7th and 8th graders along for recruitment purposes.  Because you know that 13-year-olds love NOTHING more than working hard and practicing in weather like this.  We’re even cooler than Danity Kane, bitches.

Anyway, trying to make this a happy instead of a “I’m dreading the denouement of this day,” I decided to thesaurus snow storm.  Why you ask?  I don’t really know.  But it turned up Gully Washer and my personal favourite Big Blow.  Can’t you just picture your local weather asshole saying, “Look out for one fiesty gully washer today, Palatine!”, or “Get out yer long johnnies Wauconda, we’re in for a BIG BLOW!!!”  [then again, when aren’t they in Wauconda, if you know what I mean….] 

Upon further research, I did happen to find that both Gully Washer and Big Blow could mean other things, thanks to our friends over at  If it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t know what Lackanookieitis meant.  Anyway…

Whereas told me that ‘Gully Washer’ meant snowstorm, told me the following:

“When you have to go the bathroom so badly you pee a little into your clothing to relieve some of the pressure. If you’re at this stage then odds are very high you’re not gonna make it to the bathroom in time.”

Then, luckily, they give us a nice example.  I swear the people that write this thing are something special.

“Dude! Did you see the back of Kayla’s skirt when she rushed out?”
“Hell yeah! She must have let loose a gully washer during class.”
“And did you see her after she ran into the hall? She, like, just started pissing onto the floor and it was, like, wierd!”

Good to know.  I’ll spare you the looking up of “Big Blow.”  I’m guessing you can imagine. 

Well, it’s accumulating know.  Time to suffer.  Feel bad for me people.  This isn’t the kind of snowstorm that you see Kate Moss doing off the back of the toilet at the Newark T.G.I.Friday’s. 

Published in: on 12 October 2006 at 7*46 pm  Leave a Comment  

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