Minellian Commercial Break

YOU TOO CAN BE A RAGING PILE OF WEBLOG SUCCESS!*

All you have to do, my friends, is pick a weirdo.  Maybe someone who’s finally ‘off the drugs’ or someone who ‘used to be on full house and now spends her days emceeing Pants Off/Dance Off, or, if you’re like me, accidentally happen into one of these hot messes by linking to lots of random pictures of people you hate!  Ever since THIS DAY, I’ve had a meager number of people who’ve happened by my site looking for THIS—>

And rightfully so…that’s some effed up shit.  However, the other day, when I decided it was time to point this out publically, I opened up a whole new wormhole.  Yesterday alone, according to WordPress anyway, 79 people came to this little corner of the web [i like to think of it as that weirdo 24-hour liqour store in the seedy part of town, behind the Dollar Tree] ‘looking for’ (?) above photo.  Well, my searchers, I have more presents for you today!!!

We have Russian-Government-Hat-Hair Minelli…

There’s Awful-Plastic-Surgery.com Minelli…

There’s Liza-and-her-plasticine-face-and-straight-edge-teeth-take-their-vengeance-on-unsuspecting-microphone Minelli…

There’s I’m-not-too-old-to-be-a-floozy-especially-when-it’s-for-downward-spiral-talk-show-hosts-after-feverishly-finishing-off-a-20-ouncer-of-Coke-Zero!-spiked-with-rubbing-alcohol-cause-dammit-it’s-the-only-thing-that-WORKS-anymore!-Minelli…

There’s Let-me-show-you-how-to-sit-like-a-STTTAAHHHRRRR!-and/or-how-to-sit-when-your-‘rhoids-are-acting-up Minelli…

And last, and certainly the least, Okay-6th-grade-Earth-Science-class-let’s-estimate-how-many-suedes-had-to-die-to-help-me-cement-my-freak-show-status Minelli…

.

And there you have it searchers.  Enjoy. 

The rest of you, I hope you’ve enjoyed my baseless pandering to nomadic strangers for the SOLE purpose of making more people come here, even if they JUST look for stupid has been snapshots.  You should try it—it’s even more ego-stroking than comments.  If only the Minellians could leave comments….whoa…..

*if by ‘success’ you mean being REALLY excited about 75+ hits a day**

**I really didn’t want to jump on the footnote train here, but I had to do that first one***

***I’m a bastard.

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Published in: on 1 November 2006 at 8*26 pm  Comments (4)  

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4 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You truly are a sad and desperate man.*

    *And what, exactly, is the problem with footnotes?!?

  2. Well she looks better than her mom looks today…

  3. She looks like Groucho Marx in that Cabaret shot. Him or Frida Kahlo.

  4. I wasn’t ‘looking for’ this picture, but I’m sure you’ll be extremely pleased to know I found it on a Google image search for “troll”.

    Love the blog!

    Krystyn


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