Why I love Gloria Allred. And by love, I mean, really really hate. A lot.

Okay, watch out bitches, I’m angry.

In case you spent the last two weeks in the line outside K*Mart waiting for the 5am opening on Black Friday, you probably know that Kramer’s in a bit of trouble.Go to fullsize imageHe said some bad stuff.  Some really awful stuff.  Stuff that is not funny to anyone.  Truly misguided–clearly something is amiss with this guy, and he should mayhaps seek some sort of counseling, or something. 

But come on, people.  This is from a story from msnbc.com.  As legitimate as I get.

“…the targets of his rage — Kyle Doss and Frank McBride — have also reached out to someone — tenacious lawyer Gloria Allred…”  Oh, hooray!  I get to see this ass for another month or so!  I missed her…(go to that website. It’ll make you barf.)

“…our interview with Doss and McBride was granted on one condition — that we also interview their high-profile attorney, Gloria Allred….” Can’t imagine that!  What a surprise!  It can’t be because the all-powerful Allred might want to extort money from someone who’s flailing to fix a difficult situation, could it?  She wouldn’t do that!  Not a woman who has taken such important civil rights cases as that time she sued K*Mart for having separate Boys and Girls Toy Sections!  Separate but equal! 

“…“It is not enough to go on television and say ‘I’m sorry,’” Allred said. “We are issuing a challenge to Michael Richards.”…”  —-Okay, my friends.  Here is what she’s asking.  Excuse me, I mean what they are asking through her.  Apparently these victims, who were emotionally wronged, feel that the only way that they can be righted is through compensation.  Money.  Allred wants Richards to sit down with a retired Judge (emphasized repeatedly) and apologize to the victims “man-to-man”-to Gloria Allred-to retired Judge.  Apres-apology, the Judge will decide how much money Kramer should pass across the table.  Of course.  Makes sense to me.

I get it, guys.  You were insulted.  But by paying to get into a Comedy Club, unless someone is yelling “Fire” or whatever, you’re saying that whatever is said is O.K.  But come on, everyone gets insulted by people all the time!  There are stupid people in this world–many of them.  MANY.  Michael Richards did NOTHING illegal.  He was an ass.  You don’t deserve money; you don’t even deserve the attention you’re getting.  And what about shouting back at him? Doesn’t that sort of hurt your case that you called him a “F*ing Cracker-Ass Mother-F*er”? Two wrongs, my friends. If Michael Richards were some random schlub off the street, NONE of this would be happening.  If he didn’t have the money and enough celebrity to warrant a nation-wide tizzy, then no one would know who these victims are or that there even were victims. 

Racism sucks.  It sucks that it still exists.  But you know what else still exists?  Ageism.  Sexism.  Socio-economic Prejudice.  Sexual Orientation Prejudice.  Sexual Harrassment.  What makes this incident and you so important that you deserve money from a guy who did NOTHING ILLEGAL!  Grow up.  Seriously.  Grow up. Fight injustice appropriately. Extorting money and then disappearing is not fighting.

And you, Gloria Allred.  You are disgusting.  I went to her website and looked around and everything, and everything about her is so incredibly fake.  It is obvious to EVERYONE that you are a money-grubbing snake.  You should really be ashamed of yourself. 


Okay, that was serious.  On a side note, I CAN NOT get enough of the Blue October CD my wife gave me for my birthday.  It’s frieking awesome.  If you’re too cheap, just download the song “Overweight.” 

I discovered these guys when Zayra sang their song “Razor Blade” on Rock Star:Supernova/whoops, some other name that’s not already taken.  Unfortunately, that song is not on their new CD, though.  One of the older ones, yes.  So, you out there, it is almost Christmas……

Published in: on 27 November 2006 at 8*50 pm  Comments (5)  

5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. “If Michael Richards were some random schlub off the street, NONE of this would be happening.”

    EXACTLY. A comedy club owner in the Detroit area gave an interview to a local paper about the situation, and said that this sort of thing basically happens on a pretty regular basis. However, in most cases, the club just escorts the offending comedian from the stage, the next dude comes on, and everyone goes on with their life. Stupid ex-celebrity guy doing stupid shit that takes up way more attention than it could possibly ever deserve.

  2. Amen Dawn. Don’t get me wrong. I hate racism as much as the next guy, but when you hide under the guise of injustice with the secret intent of helping ONLY yourself, and not ACTUALLY the group that was wronged, then that’s sick.
    That’s the difference between MLK and Al Sharpton.

  3. GRAND RAPIDS IN THE HIZ-OUSE! dude, you’ll never believe this, but i went to aquinas college. AND taught there. AND worked at schuler books. AND djed at The Reptile House (back in the day).

    seriously, major small world, man.

  4. I hope Kramer agrees to meet with them to apologize…and when he gets there, he just calls them the ‘N’ word again and walks out.

  5. You are correct…and you had me at the title.

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