Abdul Commercial Break, brought to you by ‘Demerol’

It’s been a while since I’ve been around, and I’ve a few good ideas sitting in the back of my head just waiting like Punky Brewster’s friend who hid in that refridgerator that one time and scared me forever. 

However, now is not the time.  Instead, I would like to mention how our hysterical friend, Paula Abdul, informed Chicago(ish) native contestant Gina Glocksen that her choice of Diana Ross’s”’sss “Love Child” was such an uplifiting song.  I believe the exact verbiage was “It’s such a feel-good number!”

I have included lyrics below, complete with bolded words that, i don’t know about your sorry ass, but make me ‘feel good.’ 

 “Love child
Never meant to be
Love Child
Born in poverty
Love Child
Never meant to be
Love Child
Take a look at me

Started my life
In a old, cold, run-down tenement slum (tenement slum) [so uplifting, it needed to happen twice!]
My father left he never even married mama
I shared the guilt my mama knew
So afraid that others knew I had no name

This love we’re contemplatin’
Is worth the pain of waitin’
We’ll only end up hatin’
The child we may be creatin’

Love Child
Never meant to be
Love Child
(Scorned by) Society
Love Child
Always second best
Love Child
(Different from) Different from the rest

I started school
In a worn, torn dress that somebody threw out
(Somebody threw out)
I knew the way it felt to always live in doubt
To be without the simple things
So afraid my friends would see the guilt in me

Don’t think that I don’t need ya
Don’t think I don’t want to please ya
But no child of mine will be bearing
The name of shame I’ve been wearing

Love Child
Love Child
Never quite as good
Afraid, ashamed

Talk about inspiring.  Thanks, Paula.

Published in: on 15 March 2007 at 8*17 am  Comments (6)  

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6 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Well, sure it is! The singer’s taking back her power from some guy who wants to do the premarital hula with her. Grrrrrl Power!

    (Yeah, I have no idea what I’m talking about.)

  2. I can’t get enough Paula. We have so much in common. We both slur our speech and we both um, slur our speech.

  3. Dude, I just found your blog from the comment you left on mine, and I love your blog so much I want to cry and maybe wet myself a little. I’m gonna link to you as soon as I get out of bed. How would you feel about joining the worldwide consortium of humor blogs, Humor-Blogs.com?

  4. Or not. Whatever, it’s cool. Anyway, I linked you. :)

  5. I am crushed. Excluded again. But then again, I’m no longer a south sider, so I can make jokes about your ethnic background and economic status now. Let me ponder that and come up with something good and vile. I’ll defecate on your parade soon enough, you provincial nasal south side fuck.

    (all of the above said with proper due affection)

  6. The response level to local and national disasters is noble but it’s a damn shame that so many people take advantage of the negative situations.

    I mean everytime there is an earthquake, a flood, an oil spill – there’s always a group of heartless people who rip off tax payers.

    This is in response to reading that 4 of Oprah Winfreys “angels” got busted ripping off the system. Shame on them!

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