Episode 11- “I’d Like to Thank the Little People”(not midgets)

Much like Bea Arthur’s digestive system, presumably anyway, I have not been very regular lately.  I won’t bore you with the boring boring details, but blah blah busy, etc. 

However, I have not noted yet, that this month marks, [insert triumphant music here], the big anniversary.  Yes you’ve had a whole year of this bullshit.  As you scroll down, you may notice my aforementioned irregularity (25 posts last march, 1 in july), but I’m gonna try dammit.  You just see.   Starting here, I promise my love faithfully. 

Many of you have been instrumental in my ‘success’.  So, I would like to thank you all individually.  And, since there’s no more than a baker’s dozen of you, I can do so. 

Amy, remember that one day you linked me and the world was anew?  Thanks to you and accurately timed photos of Liza Minelli’s Wedding Freakshow, I have had numerous huge days!  (400+ people. huge to me.)(numerous = 2)  10 bucks says she never sees this, guys.

Broad, you are so Indiana to me.  Only not in the toothless hillbilly, too dense to figure out daylight savings time, Crossroads of America way, but instead in the way of people that hate those people and like making jokes about people named “Cock.”

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Miss-TAY, you are a funny person.  And not like Paul Reubens funny, or Star Jones funny.  Miss.T., you do for comedy what Mr.T. did for difference-making.  ity. 

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Leah, it is because of you that I even started this site.  You hear that, rest of the world?  You have her to blame.  Although, you do watch the kid, so it looks like I owe you two thank you’s.  As an aside, everytime you mention La Leche League, I think of a delicious dessert.  (2 s’s right?)

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Dawn, you are also very vital in the existence of this blog.  However, your non-hate for Ohio worries me, as does the fact that you enjoy running.  I suppose we differ there.  I link the two, as in, “I only run when people from Ohio are approaching me.”  And there you have it.

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Chris, Your Haiku(s?) are keen.  You ridicule the famous.  Volcano season.  (that’s why I don’t usually try.)

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Jim, your lack of posting makes even me look consistent.  I thank you for the list.  New idea–let’s post some mad libs, eh?  Also, I owe you $500.  I would say ‘the check is in the mail’, except that it isn’t.  Hopefully it will be sometime soon. 

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Carla, Good luck to you, what with the pregnancy and all.  You are such a wise person.  I didn’t always think so, though.  It wasn’t until I found out that someone liking solo Don Henley automatically qualified them as super-queer in ‘your book’, that I decided you were a genius.   

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Dyck, Your blog, to me, is a Stedman.  It is important that it’s there, and it’s automatically funny, although, when you accidentally see it, it’s always a huge disappointment.  And yes, I’m still talking about the blog.

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And now, as the inappropriately timed music swells up like the genital warts on former teen pop stars, I must say, thank you, and good nite.  May all your dreams come true, and may your life float by gracefully as on the wings of a butterfly.

Published in: on 30 March 2007 at 9*05 am  Comments (14)  

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14 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. That was beautiful. I was moved to tears, really. Except for that whole Star Jones picture. Then, I felt a little sick.

  2. (wipes away tears, and begins slow clap) You’ve obviously never heard me do my “Northwest Indiana hillbilly” dialect, then, have you!??

  3. I do what I can, yo.

    Mmm, dessert. Yes please.

  4. Happy Blog-day. What’s wierder (besides my total abuse of the English Language)? I used to have that cat with the beer as my banner too.

    Go Michigan! As in the state. As in beating Ohio, in everything.

  5. I stumbled on this site and had to stop and comment because that Bea Arthur line cracked me up! haha.

  6. Just for the record, I do not live in f-ing Oregon.

  7. If Ms. Babble is such a genius, how come she keeps letting herself get knocked up? If anyone is a genius, it’s Mr. Donald Henley – drummer, guitarist, singer, songwriter, husband, father, political activitist, environmentalist, and all around good egg.

  8. (blinks) Don Henley’s given name WOULD be “Donald,” wouldn’t it!?? Oh God. That leaves a wang of epic proportions,

  9. adding: That was very nice, Mighty.

  10. still adding: I meant, “NOT very nice.” Am distracted by the audioimage of Donald Henley’s mother yelling for him to come home. “DAAAAHHHHHHNAAAALLLD!?

  11. Awwwww. I’m all choked up over here. And, just to be clear, there are certain parts of Ohio I am not fans of (Cincinnati, OSU), but you try living there for 7 years and not have it grow on you just a little bit. What can I say: I’m a sucker.

  12. Mighty DyckerFag probably has 36 posters of Don Henley in tight pants all over his sad little bedroom. And he should bear in mind that I’ve only been knocked up TWICE–which is exactly twice as many times as he’s ever gotten close enough to a human female to remotely have a possibility of seeing her knock-upable parts. Usually, that’s when the call to the police is made.

    PS: It’s Karla, not Carla, but I love you anyway.

  13. seeing her knock-upable parts



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