What IS the deal with current events?/How NOT to get the clap from a desk chair

You may have heard about THIS lately.  Well, my friends, THAT happened at my old school.  Where I used to work.  Just saying.  That story is out of AUSTRALIA.  If you want the local bit, it’s HERE.  Rest assured, it’s been a while since I’ve been there, and NONE of that was going on while I was there, at least not in my vicinity, but I just thought I’d let you know.  You’re welcome.

It’s just gross to know that you sat in a chair that was in a sex video.  Even many years later, I think I’m going to get some shots to be safe.  And yes, I do mean shots of Five O’Clock Gin.  The Allendale Special.

  The Clap Plush Doll(A stuffed Gonorrhea Microbe.  Seriously.  $5.99)

You want me to weigh in on other current events you say?  I’m not really up on the news, as you may have read before, but I’ll try.  Here goes.

~~”Imus” is funny because it sounds like “Anus”.  Excuse me, but I think rules should apply to everyone.  If he or I can’t call someone a “ho”, then why can Yung Joc?  Ho.  However, he is not funny.  Except funny looking.

~~Lacrosse is a weird sport.  Duke kids are weird too.  I say throw ’em in the slammer anyway for ‘lookin’ atcha sideways.’  Those kids love that old school logic humour.  Also, weird stuff wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t get discount strippers. 

~~WHAT?! Someone paid $421.200 for WHAT?!?  If you wanted some old bones, I hear Zsa Zsa’s lookin’ to prowl these days.  Go to fullsize image

~~The British pound breaks the $2 barrier.  How the fuck is this news.  Why don’t you go ask the damn British if that makes their teeth better, because you know what, IT DOESN’T!  (their teeth are gross)

~~Richard Gere kissed Shilpa Shetty.  Who cares.  Okay, some people care.  But I don’t.  I only care when famous people kissing end up with Grade A Hot Stuff like this.  —->Go to fullsize image

Published in: on 17 April 2007 at 9*15 am  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. So, do you know the players involved? And are they hot?

  2. Is it just me, or is it very strange that Richard Gere is being protested against for doing something COMPLETELY NORMAL?

  3. It’s you. Kissing Richard Gere is highly abnormal.

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