When life gets busy, I get really lazy…

Okay, so it’s been a while.  A real long while.  Really long.  Like, “That’s what she said” long.  It’s just hard, man.  I don’t get to supervise detention anymore which really cuts in to my me-time.  Yet I really doubt you’re interested in my me time. 

During my no-reason-hiatus, I came up with some questions I’ve been dying to ask you, my devoted public.  And by that, I mean people who have given up checking my site and are only back here now because I visited you for you to even remember that I still existed.  So, please take the following test.

1.  What the F is with Duran Duran?  While it is a well-documented fact that Rio is the worst song ever written (I know this news surprises the members of Chumbawumba and Kajagoogoo), did you know that there are people that like The Reflex?  Even some non-criminals.  How did this happen?

2.  Don’t you think the title That’s So Raven  is really racist?  I mean really, who are we kidding.  How is she SO raven?  Aren’t ravens black?  Where’s The Reverend Al on this one? (Sharpton, not Roker)

3.  Would you believe that thanks to our aforementioned bargain TiVo that I have now seen every Law ‘N’ Order SUV possible?  True or False:  After 7 years and Mariska Hargitay’s hair FINALLY grew out from that unfortunate KD Lang thing leading me to realize that she really is pretty friggin’ hott, they cut her hair again just so that I and what I can assume is any number of other people (probably between 3 and 6, in the contiguous 48 only) will watch for the next 7 years. 

4.  Lastly, and this one is for Extra Credit, what the HELL is going on with Carrot Top?  He used to just be a weird looking fire crotch with some stupid props that he thought were funny.  Now he’s pretty much the same but looks like he’s on the ‘roids.  I’m not talking preporation H style roids either.  See for yourself. 

Weird.  Anyway, thanks for coming back.  Hopefully things will pull a Metamucil over here and start to get a bit more regular. 


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16 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. What the hell are you doing with photos of a semi-naked Carrot Top??

  2. Oy!! Carrot Top looks like a Raggedy Andy tampon.


    The bulbous nature of his arms and pecs are one thing, but the eye liner??? Why? Who? When?

    He looks gayer than a clutch purse on Tony night.

    Funny Stuff.


  3. For the record, not my photos. And you couldn’t have gone Raggedy Annie for my sake?

    Careful though….nothing is gayer than Tony night. Perhaps Seacrest.

  4. I am going to see that photo of Carrot Top every time I close my eyes now…

  5. He’s right about the me-time thing. I came back to our apartment once during “me-time” (and by Me here I’m still referring to Andy, so I guess it’s “Andy-time”). Anyways… In the interest of modesty, I’ll just say that I’m glad he locked the door to our room and you fill in the rest from your (assumedly) pervese imaginationings.
    To answer your questions:
    1) 80’s nostalgia. The same reason you and I will always love Ace of Base and Boyz II Men [side bar: didn’t they start with like eight members? Apparently only three of them are still relevant enough to show up and sing for the World Series. Sad days…]
    2) It’s way better than the original title: “That’s So Nappy-Headed Ho-Child” (and you thought Imus references were played out already).
    3) False. Although True in that Mariska Hargitay is smokin’.
    4) Best part of the photo: check out the bar behind him. It appears to be holding about 25 pounds. What a bad-ass.

    Also, bring back the list, bytch.

  6. I love your new design…and i agree with laurie. he is like a walking used tampon. he should try out for the band “gwar”

  7. Rio may be the worst song but the best video from the long gone era when MTV played music.

    None of your answers address the real question, which is why does Celine Dion look like a furless weasel?

  8. I think I saw Celine Dion perform with GWAR once, and it was resplendent. It was like musical sex. Also, Imus sounds like Anus kind of, and i’m glad, Fabby, that you will take that image with you. I’m all about helping out the world.

  9. deb and andy…you gave me the best laugh of the day “why does celine dion look like a furless weasel”

    and of course she performed with gwar…howda think they learned to whip into those swanky poses while they were screaming and throwing animal guts?

  10. Don’t be dissin’ the Duran. Or the Duran.

    Carot Top is a tool. I guess he figured it worked for Joe Piscopo.

  11. So, are you saying I’m the only person here who thinks Carrot Top is an oily bo-hunk?

  12. Is this what you’re telling me?

  13. i think that perhaps, yes…

  14. Hey, at least he works out. I don’t admit what I do in my spare time. But I can tell you I’m not pumping iron.

  15. Is it Chinese Checkers? Because that builds your biceps right up.

  16. Hi, I came across your site and wasn’t able to get an email address to contact you about some broken links on your site. Please email me back and I would be happy to point them out to you.

    Mandie Hayes

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