Okay, so it’s been a while. A real long while. Really long. Like, “That’s what she said” long. It’s just hard, man. I don’t get to supervise detention anymore which really cuts in to my me-time. Yet I really doubt you’re interested in my me time.
During my no-reason-hiatus, I came up with some questions I’ve been dying to ask you, my devoted public. And by that, I mean people who have given up checking my site and are only back here now because I visited you for you to even remember that I still existed. So, please take the following test.
1. What the F is with Duran Duran? While it is a well-documented fact that Rio is the worst song ever written (I know this news surprises the members of Chumbawumba and Kajagoogoo), did you know that there are people that like The Reflex? Even some non-criminals. How did this happen?
2. Don’t you think the title That’s So Raven is really racist? I mean really, who are we kidding. How is she SO raven? Aren’t ravens black? Where’s The Reverend Al on this one? (Sharpton, not Roker)
3. Would you believe that thanks to our aforementioned bargain TiVo that I have now seen every Law ‘N’ Order SUV possible? True or False: After 7 years and Mariska Hargitay’s hair FINALLY grew out from that unfortunate KD Lang thing leading me to realize that she really is pretty friggin’ hott, they cut her hair again just so that I and what I can assume is any number of other people (probably between 3 and 6, in the contiguous 48 only) will watch for the next 7 years.
4. Lastly, and this one is for Extra Credit, what the HELL is going on with Carrot Top? He used to just be a weird looking fire crotch with some stupid props that he thought were funny. Now he’s pretty much the same but looks like he’s on the ‘roids. I’m not talking preporation H style roids either. See for yourself.
Weird. Anyway, thanks for coming back. Hopefully things will pull a Metamucil over here and start to get a bit more regular.
Florid Organum Straight From the South Side 